White Lies

Why oh why do we lie? Are there benefits to lying or are all lies wrong? Am I right in saying that we should never ever lie? I think that’s what the general consensus is, right?

So if we all live our lives without once telling a lie then we will all live in peace and harmony right? No!! Wrong!!! There are so many scenarios where lying is a must!! In fact, it would be considered wrong not to lie!! “What’s this crazy Englishman talking about?” you may say? Well, let me run a few scenarios by you and see what you think


What if you’re at a friend’s house for dinner and the food is bloody awful? And when I say awful I mean stomach turning and absolutely horrible!! When posed with the question ‘Did you enjoy the food?’ are you suppose to say “No, it was bloody awful, I think I am going to be sick” or simply politely say “yes, delicious, Thank you”

How about when you are consoling a friend and they ask “Did I do the right thing dumping Jimmy.” You will find yourself saying something like “Oh yes. It’s totally for the best. The guy was not good enough for you. Good riddance to bad news!!” While in the back of your mind you are thinking “I love Jimmy, my friend is a fool.” But you’re not going to tell your friend “no, you have made a terrible mistake. That was your future husband right there!!”

Imagine you’re at a friend’s house for the first time and they are giving you the grand tour. Along the way you notice the horrific pink walls lined by a blood red carpet. One room after another looks like something Hugh Hefner would have abandoned 20 years ago. You do a lot of nodding, and humming as you complement how “Beautiful’ the house looks or comment on how they have done such a ‘good job’ with everything. Cue the car ride back whereby you are slating everything about the house and coming to the conclusion that your friends are in fact, mad. This scenario probably involved several lies in a row. One for every room of the house!! At this point I have already broken the rule of lying over and over.

So what do we do? Keep things the way they are? I suppose a few white lies are ok it’s just the big stuff we need to be careful with. I suppose what I am trying to say is that we actually need to lie in order to keep the peace and stop the world from going mad. We just need to keep quiet about certain things in order to maintain friendships, avoid conflicts and live a normal life.

People have been lying for centuries. Heck, politicians even get paid to lie on a regular basis!! A few white lies do the world good and continue to strengthen our loving bonds throughout society. The white lies protect people, so are they really lies. Are we not just bending the truth ever so slightly? Is that the same thing? Do we always need to know the truth?
I guess that rather than calling the above scenarios lying I will refer to them as reserving opinion. We are simply keeping our opinions to ourselves. So what if we think the food tastes like it has been regurgitated? So what if we think our friend has made a mistake over a boyfriend or their house looks like the Fun House at Flamingo Land? Do we really need to tell these people our ‘opinions?’ The answer is no!!

At this point we haven’t committed any crimes we have just kept the peace, and everyone is living happily in peace and harmony. That is what works best. The lies that break this bond are the big ones!! You know the type. The ones where we are not the people withholding opinions, we are in fact the ones who are breaking promises, saying one thing and then doing another in turn risking hurting someone. There are lies that hurt and break and those that protect and strengthen.


I read an article about body language the other day and there was an interesting paragraph explaining how to tell if someone is lying or not by observing their body language. If someone is lying then they typically will look down or won’t look you directly in the eye. I personally think I am pretty good at telling if someone is lying or not. I work with 18-21 year olds so I have a lot of practice!! Trust me; I have heard every excuse in the book. From “Sorry I was late I was waiting for my laundry to finish so I had some clothes to wear” to “sorry, I didn’t get any of the 16 texts you sent me so I didn’t know I was suppose to work.”

Sometimes honesty is simply the best policy. As someone who is a little more seasoned these days I can say that I respect honesty. I want things to be clear and concise. It doesn’t matter what it is. Being caught or catching someone in a lie is just embarrassing and it makes the situation worse. Be grown ups but be smart grown ups. The trick is to be able to distinguish between reserving opinon and actually telling a lie. Don't tell lies that will hurt someone or lies that you would not want to hear from someone else. I guess we all need guidance from time to time.


Wouldn’t it be great if there was a book that listed all the lies that were allowed and all the lies that were not? Well, since that has me thinking I will start my own list and I will encourage anyone reading to add to it

Remember the following sayings and you will be on easy streets

There is no dress on this green earth that will make you Look fat honey!
The food was delicious, thank you!
Your baby is beautiful.
I love my job!! Always have and always will!!
I only had one beer I promise
She’s a dog compared to you sweetheart!!
We had a great time, thanks for inviting us
Your dog is really friendly. Look at them jumping up at me like that!!
Your kids are just great!!