White Lies

Why oh why do we lie? Are there benefits to lying or are all lies wrong? Am I right in saying that we should never ever lie? I think that’s what the general consensus is, right?

So if we all live our lives without once telling a lie then we will all live in peace and harmony right? No!! Wrong!!! There are so many scenarios where lying is a must!! In fact, it would be considered wrong not to lie!! “What’s this crazy Englishman talking about?” you may say? Well, let me run a few scenarios by you and see what you think


What if you’re at a friend’s house for dinner and the food is bloody awful? And when I say awful I mean stomach turning and absolutely horrible!! When posed with the question ‘Did you enjoy the food?’ are you suppose to say “No, it was bloody awful, I think I am going to be sick” or simply politely say “yes, delicious, Thank you”

How about when you are consoling a friend and they ask “Did I do the right thing dumping Jimmy.” You will find yourself saying something like “Oh yes. It’s totally for the best. The guy was not good enough for you. Good riddance to bad news!!” While in the back of your mind you are thinking “I love Jimmy, my friend is a fool.” But you’re not going to tell your friend “no, you have made a terrible mistake. That was your future husband right there!!”

Imagine you’re at a friend’s house for the first time and they are giving you the grand tour. Along the way you notice the horrific pink walls lined by a blood red carpet. One room after another looks like something Hugh Hefner would have abandoned 20 years ago. You do a lot of nodding, and humming as you complement how “Beautiful’ the house looks or comment on how they have done such a ‘good job’ with everything. Cue the car ride back whereby you are slating everything about the house and coming to the conclusion that your friends are in fact, mad. This scenario probably involved several lies in a row. One for every room of the house!! At this point I have already broken the rule of lying over and over.

So what do we do? Keep things the way they are? I suppose a few white lies are ok it’s just the big stuff we need to be careful with. I suppose what I am trying to say is that we actually need to lie in order to keep the peace and stop the world from going mad. We just need to keep quiet about certain things in order to maintain friendships, avoid conflicts and live a normal life.

People have been lying for centuries. Heck, politicians even get paid to lie on a regular basis!! A few white lies do the world good and continue to strengthen our loving bonds throughout society. The white lies protect people, so are they really lies. Are we not just bending the truth ever so slightly? Is that the same thing? Do we always need to know the truth?
I guess that rather than calling the above scenarios lying I will refer to them as reserving opinion. We are simply keeping our opinions to ourselves. So what if we think the food tastes like it has been regurgitated? So what if we think our friend has made a mistake over a boyfriend or their house looks like the Fun House at Flamingo Land? Do we really need to tell these people our ‘opinions?’ The answer is no!!

At this point we haven’t committed any crimes we have just kept the peace, and everyone is living happily in peace and harmony. That is what works best. The lies that break this bond are the big ones!! You know the type. The ones where we are not the people withholding opinions, we are in fact the ones who are breaking promises, saying one thing and then doing another in turn risking hurting someone. There are lies that hurt and break and those that protect and strengthen.


I read an article about body language the other day and there was an interesting paragraph explaining how to tell if someone is lying or not by observing their body language. If someone is lying then they typically will look down or won’t look you directly in the eye. I personally think I am pretty good at telling if someone is lying or not. I work with 18-21 year olds so I have a lot of practice!! Trust me; I have heard every excuse in the book. From “Sorry I was late I was waiting for my laundry to finish so I had some clothes to wear” to “sorry, I didn’t get any of the 16 texts you sent me so I didn’t know I was suppose to work.”

Sometimes honesty is simply the best policy. As someone who is a little more seasoned these days I can say that I respect honesty. I want things to be clear and concise. It doesn’t matter what it is. Being caught or catching someone in a lie is just embarrassing and it makes the situation worse. Be grown ups but be smart grown ups. The trick is to be able to distinguish between reserving opinon and actually telling a lie. Don't tell lies that will hurt someone or lies that you would not want to hear from someone else. I guess we all need guidance from time to time.


Wouldn’t it be great if there was a book that listed all the lies that were allowed and all the lies that were not? Well, since that has me thinking I will start my own list and I will encourage anyone reading to add to it

Remember the following sayings and you will be on easy streets

There is no dress on this green earth that will make you Look fat honey!
The food was delicious, thank you!
Your baby is beautiful.
I love my job!! Always have and always will!!
I only had one beer I promise
She’s a dog compared to you sweetheart!!
We had a great time, thanks for inviting us
Your dog is really friendly. Look at them jumping up at me like that!!
Your kids are just great!!

Always Take the Weather With You!!!

I love the transition from colder to warmer climes!! In fact, I find it quite amusing!!! As humans we adapt to all kinds of different situations. If it rains we erect our circus tent-like umbrellas to stave off unfriendly rain. We even offer shelter to our fellow man if they don't have this beautiful invention. When it gets dark we lock our doors, draw our curtains, and always make sure to park our cars under a street light. We just know the car will magically be safe under the luminous night.

There is one thing though that really gets me giggling and thats when the weather starts to get a little warm. Notice that I said 'a little warm'. For most people the very sight of the sun brings about immediate panic, excitement and indecision. Can I dig out the bermuda shorts? Do I finally get to rock those sandals my Mom bought me last winter? For most, the indecisivness is all too much to bare. One can spot all kinds of fashion faux pas. The geeky and confused Argyle socks with sneakers look, or maybe the boybandish jeans with a vest look perhaps? Either way, not until its absolutley scalding hot can we be clear on what we should and shouldn't be wearing. I myself am not to be excused from all of this weather talk.

I have fallen victim to this weather bug like the rest of us. You may have spotted me standing at a bus stop in my shorts and vest combo freezing myself to death. Nothing that a little jogging on the spot or a couple of star jumps didn't fix though. Maybe you saw me running back from the pub in monsoon-like weather because I just didnt foresee such an event occuring. Afterall, it was sunny when I left the house. Note to self-Don't run in flip flops. Especially in monsoon-like weather!!!

There's another side to this however. Sometimes its warmer than we thought!! One hears all day just how hot it is "Oh, I didn't expect this today"!!! "It's too bloody hot", or " The polo neck sweater was a mistake, ive lost about a stone in sweat!!" "I can't breath. I wish it wasnt so hot"
There's nothing quite like the feeling of beads of sweat running down your legs under the thick blue levi jeans you chose to wear the morning of Britain's worst heatwave since before the war!!!
The deafening sounds of your mates yelling to "Roll the windows down" in the car because its "Like a bloody oven" in there!!!

The heat is so much to bare some guys even shave their heads because all of a sudden it just too hot for hair!! What an inconvenience!! There are of course some real Die Hards!! Hot or not as long as there is sun they will be out in gardens across the world trying to get some color!!! We cover ourselves in all kinds of greasy products and lotions just trying to absorb some of the suns tanning rays. "make me brown" or "I just want a nice glow" are common terms overheard over the garden fences!! Of course the effects the following day are often met with dissapointment. "Get the Bloody aftersun out im burnt and im peeling"!!! or "I think I overdid it, I can't bend down to tie my shoelaces today"
Either way, we will continue to misjudge the weather. I will of course always be a victim but always be someone who can laugh about it. So be proud of who you are!!! If its hot then take a pair of scissors and cut the legs off your jeans!!! If its hot then please complain about it all day long but please just wait until its hot!!!!


There's a great lyric from an Oasis song that goes "Wrap up cold when it's warm outside" I love this line as it reminds me of my personal view about our very weird obsession with transition and indecision. Its unavoidable people!!